Horoscope

Horoscope

By Meg ⋅ May 11, 2007 ⋅  Print This Post ⋅ Post a comment

Capricorn- You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically a chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should give up now.

Aquarius- You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everybody thinks you’re a jerk.

Pisces- You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit.

Aries- You are the pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and scornful of advice. (get off this website) You do nothing but piss off everybody you come in contact with. You are a prick.

Taurus- You are practical and persistent. You work like hell and have determination. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded.

Gemini- You are a quick and intelligent thinker, people like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard.

Cancer- You are sympathetic and understanding to other people’s problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won’t be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a cancer.

Leo- You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people ate thievin’ creeps that enjoy masturbation more than sex.

Virgo- You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your nitpicking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while having sex. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.

Libra- You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you are male, you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras have venereal diseases.

Scorpio- The worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered young.

Sagittarius- You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of crap.